Her Love for the Shadows
by thepocketsizedauthor
Summary: Christine goes in search of Erik after the disaster and finds him and her feelings, very much alive.


Christine could bear it no longer.

She had to know if he survived.

It had been nearly a month since the disaster and the fire that ravaged the Opera House.

After herself and Raoul's escape, they had waited to hear of the monsters capture but none came.

Christine was living with Raoul, as an engaged couple it did spark scandal but none could overshadow the story that already dominated their relationship.

Raoul was more protective of her than perhaps she felt necessary but knew that his dear Christine needed her freedom.

"I am going to visit Meg," she said one evening. "She has been eager to hear about the wedding"

"Would you not wait until tomorrow? The horses are already in the stables" asked Raoul gently. "Besides it's already dark"

"Oh darling I promised her!" replied Christine. "She'll be so disappointed"

"How long do you intend to be?" smiled Raoul. "I'll wait for you"

"I said I would stay the night with her, we used to share a room in the dormitory" replied Christine. "It will be like old times"

Raoul, unable to deny her anything did not stand in her way. "Please stay safe"

Christine humoured him. "I'm no child dearest"

"It's not that" hushed Raoul.

"Then what worries you?" asked Christine.

"He's not been found yet" reminded Raoul.

Christine tensed. "Surely by now?"

"Where ever he is he abandoned that mask of his, that wretched face won't be hard to find," said Raoul spitefully.

Christine would not bring herself to defend him. "I hope whatever is left of him is found soon, then we can close that chapter of our lives"

Raoul kissed her hands. "Christine you've made me so happy. I am joyful that you have finally shaken the daze that creature put over you"

She could only smile. "I will return in the morning"

"Till then my love" called Raoul, sending her off with a wave.

* * *

Christine grew nervous as she approached the Opera House. The warmth from the ashes still tangible amongst the rubble.

It pained her to see the place that brought her so much joy reduced to such devastation.

Fortunately, the light of the moon guided her back into the crumbling auditorium, passing by the burnt chairs and scorched marble. Even what was described as the most beautiful chandelier in France lay charred and twisted.

With a burst of strength, she pulled herself onto the stage, momentarily frightened it would collapse under her weight.

With each tentative step, she held in the urge to sing. A place where her heart soared and filled with purpose now was silent.

Hoping it would bring her angel from his hiding place she dared to sing the aria that began it all.

_"Think of me, please say you'll think of me whatever else you choose to do. There will never be a day when I won't think of you!"_

As the last note fell and died she sensed movement in the dark corners of the auditorium.

For a moment she was sure it was more than one person. Had she endangered herself through foolishness and was now going to be subject to whatever criminals had made this hovel their new home?

However, with the turn of a cape, Christine felt his presence and her nerves were calm for a while.

She watched him flee from the auditorium, her implores for him to stay only seemed to hasten his wish to be rid of her.

"Angel please!" She shouted again.

Clamouring off the stage, before realising he had vanished.

She only knew one place he would go and with little choice the pushed her way behind the stage and towards the dressing rooms.

The smell of burnt wood, leather and metal were the strongest here. Racks of costumes were no more than shreds and the door to her own dressing room was already off its hinges.

It was clear that the mob had been able to get down to her Angels lair from here as the large wall mirror lay in hundreds of pieces.

The fire had ravaged the once beautiful room and many of her belongings had perished.

Retrieving a gas lamp from the hall that had survived the flames, Christine relit the light glad for its help in the coming task.

She had never journeyed to her Angels lair alone, he had always been her guide.

_"These tunnels can swallow you up, my sweet one. Never venture here unless I am with you"_

Despite his warning, Christine took another tentative step into his domain.

The light she had did not give her much aid. The tunnels were indistinguishable from each other, now with the help of the fire, none of them even seemed stable and capable of bearing weight.

The air became far fouler the deeper she went, she assumed she must be getting closer.

"Angel?" She shouted into the darkness, instantly regretting her decision as she heard a distant rumbling behind her.

As the walls shook she could only assume one of the tunnels had collapsed. Fleeing with speed she prayed to leave the darkness as soon as she could"

At last, she found herself near something she recognised. The boiler room lay deep under the theatre and looked strange with no red light illuminating the dark.

At once she saw a single light appear in the corner.

It was faint but close, close enough that she could see its owner.

"Angel?" She called. "Please!"

The light vanished as soon as it appeared, but Christine chased after the direction it moved in.

She ran as fast as the uneasy terrain would allow her until finally she reached out and grabbed the body of her Angel.

She had no time to react for he swung round as if she had burnt him with her touch.

Slamming her against the wall of the tunnel he shouted. "Let me be foul spirit! Why do you torment me!"

As Christine cried out and whimpered his hand moved back.

Seizing the gas lamp which had been cast to the ground he lifted it to her face and recoiled as if she was something to be feared.

"No" he whispered. "She's gone"

"Angel" cried, Christine. "Please, it's me."

He seemed ready to run again but she flung her arms around him, desperate to make him understand.

Christine felt his arms drop to his sides, the gas lamp finally extinguishing as it hit the floor.

Now enveloped in the darkness she could only hear and feel him, as cold and wretched as he was.

"Why—why are you here?" he stammered, barely able to voice his words.

"I needed to know if you were alive" confessed Christine. "Your death was tormenting me"

"Why should it" he replied. "You have the Victome at your beck and call"

"Because I lie awake and think of only you" cried Christine.

He pushed her away as those words left her lips. "Leave now"

"No" she exclaimed. "I came to find you"

"And so I am found" he replied. "Return to your lover"

"Please, Angel" begged Christine.

"Do not give me false hope Christine" he exclaimed. "Your kiss was enough to send me to madness, I could not take another declaration".

Christine stood her ground. "No. I want to see you"

"You have chased me into the depths," he replied. "Is that not enough?"

"Please," asked Christine. "Do not cast me away"

"You made your choice Christine" he replied. "Do not tempt me to change it"

"If you could only know what I feel for you—"

He cut her off. "Do not speak to me in such a way"

He pulled his arm from her grasp and hearing footsteps leaving her Christine called after him desperately.

"Do not walk away from me like I am a stranger! Did that kiss mean nothing to you?"

In a moment he had returned to her. "It meant more to me than you know"

"Then why do you run from me?" She cried. "I have come here against my conscience. I've lied to Raoul to see you"

"And to what end?" he replied bluntly. "You torment me with talk of love then flee back to the beautiful face that adores you?"

Christine paused. "What if I said I did not wish to flee anywhere"

"Christine please, stop this" he begged. "Leave me be"

"Do not treat me like this" pleaded Christine. "I am suffering without you!"

"You-" he growled. "You know nothing of suffering"

He left her presence at speed, but she pursued him through the endless tunnels.

At last, she reached the lake but had lost sight of him.

The noise of the oars betrayed him, staring into the darkness she saw movement on the lake heading in the direction of his home.

Seeing no other boats, she knew swimming was her only option.

Kicking off her shoes and realising her warm dress would surely cause her to drown, that too was discarded in the black sand.

Stepping into the freezing water Christine gasped at the sensation. But determined to see him and make him understand, she began to swim.

Trying to ignore the feeling that something was following her she swam faster, at last reaching the iron portcullis that protected his lair so well.

"Angel" she shouted. "Please let me in"

He appeared quickly, "Christine your determination will be the death of you"

"I won't leave till you understand" she cried.

"There is nothing to understand" he barked. "Go now, I won't ask again"

Christine watched him disappear and was left with no choice.

"Erik!" she shouted, slamming her hands against the rough metal.

She had never spoken his name before, he had never trusted her with it.

Christine saw him start, turning to face her with burning eyes. "Please let me in"

The portcullis rose will ease, he seemed to have commanded it with just a gaze.

Christine waded through the foul black water and climbed into the bank.

Soaked to the skin she hurried as he stood waiting.

He looked down at her. "Who told you that name?"

Christine stood shivering but answered quickly, "The Persian"

Erik let out a guttural groan, turning away from her. "Nadir told you, when?"

"He came to visit me the night after the fire," she explained. "He told me everything"

"Everything" he sighed deeply.

Her fingers tentatively reached for his own, hoping he would not send her away.

Feeling her skin against his made him melt. "Come"

Christine was not prepared for the devastation that lay within his lair. The mob had torn it to pieces, nothing was left untouched.

Broken furniture lay in burnt piles, his precious books and music lay scattered across the floor, trampled and violated. Even his beautiful organ was smashed, the ivory keys prised from their places and discarded.

She had no words, just tears.

"Do not cry" he hushed. "This place has been mourned enough by myself"

Despite his implores she wept bitterly. All of this destruction seemed only a fault of her own.

He lay his cloak over her shivering frame, guiding her to the only remaining chair.

"Your home" she cried. "How could they do such a thing!"

"They were searching for a monster," he replied. "They had little care for my small pleasures"

Losing restraint she threw her arms around him as he knelt beside her, resting her head in his neck.

This action took time for him to conceive. But he in turn pulled her into his arms.

Breathing in her scent he sighed, she smelt sweet despite the foul water that clung to her skin.

"Why are you here?" he whispered, still enveloped in her hair.

"I do not know if marrying Raoul is what I truly want" she confessed quietly.

"You must forget me, Christine. You would never have known these feelings if I had left you alone" Erik replied. "I cannot bring you more pain"

"It is because I am away from you that I feel pain" she cried. "Raoul does not understand my heart as you do"

"He has youth and beauty, two things I cannot give you" urged Erik, breaking their embrace. "In time you will appreciate those virtues".

"But you can give me the love he cannot," said Christine. "I know it is selfish"

"Love is selfish" replied Erik softly.

"Then why can we not love together?" She asked. "Why can I not be yours and you mine?"

"I do not deserve you" he replied simply. "And you deserve better than this poor excuse for a man"

"If you love me then you are the one making excuses, not I" protested Christine. "I love you"

"You love the boy" retorted Erik.

She took his face in her hands. "I love you. I will say it every day till you understand"

"You cannot" he whispered. "You had best love a dream before you love me"

Her hand wrapped his scarred face, now irritated and swollen from being without the mask. She pressed a delicate kiss against the skin, not recoiling at the texture or smell. It was clear that her compassion was all he needed.

"Christine" he cried, pushing her away. "You cannot know what I have done and still love me"

"You think my love is so easily won or lost?" she remarked. "I have seen the harm it has done, you think I wish to cause you more?"

Seeing he had offended her, Erik returned to her side. "Forgive me"

Her reply was short. "Do not speak that way, kiss me"

Erik stalled. "That is the duty of your husband"

Christine smiled. "I do not have a husband"

"But the boy—"

Christine leant forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. "It is just us"

The feeling of her love sent waves through his body. The exhilaration he felt those weeks ago had returned and it was like a drug.

Perhaps just this once he could allow himself to become addicted.

He returned her kiss and the small moan that escaped her lips urged him on.

After her trip to the lake, she was wearing little. Her hands moved to her corset, which Erik assisted in removing.

As his hands touched flesh he stopped. He had to know if this was her intention. If he were to touch her unprovoked he'd never forgive himself.

"Erik?" she breathed, seeing him stall.

"What do you want Christine?" he replied.

"I want to be with you," she replied. "In every way"

"As my wife?" he asked, breathing heavy.

"Make me yours," she whispered.

His fingers danced over her flesh, moaning as his clumsy hands cupped her breasts.

Christine sucked the skin on his neck, her hands reaching up into his shirt, her fingertips tickled by the hair on his chest.

The shirt was gone with one quick swipe and thrown to the floor.

Erik eager to feel more of her, tugging at the string that held up her modesty, it soon fell away and he caught sight of the beauty that had been always hidden from his eyes.

Christine blushed as he drank in her figure. It felt wrong to be looked at in such a way, but she knew she was safe with him.

"Erik?" she whispered.

"You are just so—beautiful" he sighed, lifting her onto his lap.

Christine wrapped her arms around him, just for a moment relishing in their embrace.

Erik was trying to deny it but his desire was becoming noticeable.

He had to ask again. "Christine are you sure?"

"Don't stop" she said, kissing his chest. "Please"

He wrapped his hands over her rear, cupping her thighs, finding them inviting and firm from the years of consistent ballet.

Christine wriggled as she felt his desire, her nimble fingers tugging at the top of his breeches.

Needing to release it, Erik lifted Christine off his lap, she knelt on the floor and pulled the pin from her hair, letting her curls cascade down her back.

Erik kicked off his breeches, blushing of his own accord as Christine caught sight of his manhood.

A small laugh escaped her lips as the stories told by ballerinas in the dormitory flooded back.

Erik lifted her back onto his lap. "Something amuses you?"

Christine smiled and kissed him. "I did not have an idea of what to expect"

"To tell the truth, neither did I" he replied, placing gentle kisses on her neck.

Having only dreamed of such a situation as this, Erik had no room, no bed prepared.

Only what remained of a fine Persian rug lay beside him, tossing his shirt down, it covered the worst of the damage. Christine balled up her clothing into a makeshift pillow and allowed Erik to lay her down.

In her own mind, she would have hoped for a soft bed, gentle candlelight with warmth and comfort. However, with Erik and his love, this rug was the bed of a queen.

Erik moved above her, planting kisses as he went.

His fingers dared to wander to her entrance which was warm and slick with desire.

Christine let out a pleasured moan as he brushed her bud.

With his own desire ready to overcome him, he wanted her.

Christine clung to his back, any fear of pain melting away. She knew the man she loved would never hurt her.

Erik has his own fears about her wellbeing, he knew for some women that their first night with a man brought pain.

He gently pushed the tip of his manhood into her, stopping as he heard her whimper.

"Christine?" he breathed. "Did I hurt you?"

She shook her head, "You could never hurt me"

Allowing more of himself inside her, the slight sounds of discomfort turned into pleasure.

Once he started a steady soft rhythm she moulded to his girth.

He held his weight above her, kissing her neck, delighting in the gasps of sheer desire left her lips. Unable to believe that anything he could ever do would create such a reaction.

Christine clung to his back, her fingers wrapped around the aged bands of muscle. "Erik" she cried. "Don't stop!"

Wanting some pleasure of his own, Erik raised her back onto his lap, groaning as his manhood sank deeper into her.

Christine threw back her head and begged for more.

He sank his head towards her breasts, keeping a firm grip around her petite waist.

She ran her hand through his tufts of grey and black hair, grasping his shoulders as she felt something inside her building.

Before long she cried out his name, feeling an ecstasy flow through her. Her whole body clenched and Erik felt her tighten around him.

His finish came soon after, panting her name as she pressed kisses on his face and head.

With a pleasured yelp he released his seed, feeling Christine twitch with the sensation.

The pair remained as one for some time, both of them trying to fill their lungs after the excursion.

With a gentle nudge, Christine climbed off his lap, beginning to feel his fluid drip from her.

Erik sat up, trying to comprehend the dream that had become his reality, sighing as his sweet Christine pressed kisses up his back.

"Now I am yours" she purred, resting her head on his shoulder.

"A joy which I cannot understand" he replied, leaning back to kiss her.

Christine lay down on the rug, curling up against the cold. Erik joined her, taking her small frame into his own.

"When can we leave?" She asked.

"This place? Or Paris?" he replied.

"Both"

"Tomorrow," he said. "We can seek safe passage on a ship or train"

"I'd like that" she sighed.

"What of the Victome?" asked Erik tentatively. "He'll hunt us down, surely he'll believe I stole you away"

"I will write to him once we reach safety" assured Christine. "He will be understanding after a time"

"You mean a great deal to him" warned Erik. "I don't imagine he will give you up without a fight. He won you once from me"

"Did he?" remarked Christine. "Who am I with now?"

Erik let out a small chuckle. "Perhaps"

Christine let out a yawn and snuggled into Erik's frame, delighting in the security that came with it.

Erik watched her slip into a gentle slumber and he would have joined her, had his mind not begun its torture.

_'You fool, you'll wake in the morning and she will have brought the mob down on you'_

_'Do you honestly believe she would choose you over Raoul?'_

_'You couldn't possibly make her a good husband. It's best if you leave her, get far away from her and she'll be happy._

_'If you stay you'll only bring her more pain and suffering. That would be the act of a monster'_

These thoughts tormented him for hours until he could bear them no longer.

He was then decided, he must leave her.

Of course, she would mourn his loss, he even expected resentment and anger for him to fly from her side without a word.

But in time she would perhaps forgive him and with the love and affection of the Victome, he would eventually vanish from her memory.

That peace is what urged him on.

Leaving her side he clothed himself and gathered what he needed to survive.

He would not leave her without a thought. He collected her garments which had been discarded in his lair, even retrieving her dress and boots which she had left at the banks of the lake.

He laid them beside her on the chair, folding each garment with care. He wanted a small memento of her so stole away one of her stockings as a keepsake.

Erik sat and watched her sleep for some time, aware that if she woke up all was lost. She would never let him leave and he would never find the courage to do so"

Placing a final kiss on her soft curls he whispered his goodbyes and slipped into the darkness, never daring to look back.

* * *

Christine awoke with the cold.

She reached out instinctively in search of Erik but found an empty spot where he had been laying.

Sitting up she looked around and found no sign of him.

Each little detail only heightened her worst fear.

He had left her behind.

As her tears fell she could only blame herself. His guilt would have consumed him. The voices in his head too powerful to ignore without her awake to soothe them.

He left no note or final wish. Nothing could have explained the situation better than his vanishing.

He believed her happy, no implores or pleas from her could change that.

For a moment Christine debated if she should track him down, visit the port and the train station. He would not be an easily forgotten figure. Someone must have seen him and the direction he travelled in.

But of course, there was Raoul. He would never support such madness. Believing Erik to be the devil himself, he would sooner send the police with dogs than allow Christine to pursue him.

This night at its actions would have to be forgotten, confined only to her memory.

She would have to take this secret to the grave.

Raoul, though a kind and gentle soul would never forgive her for this act. Selfish and lustful he would undoubtedly call it. He was sacrificing enough choosing to marry her, penniless and unknown as she was. To ask him to pardon her for this crime and still choose to have her as his wife would be too much to bear.

Erik wanted her happiness above his own life, little did he know he had taken it with him.

He had made a situation that was already difficult, worse.

She had only dreamed of his love and affection, now she had felt and tasted it she wanted more. Something her poor Raoul would not be able to satisfy.

She had to return to him, he would be waiting for her. She would have to plead Meg to secrecy or plead with her to lie. Nothing can give away where she had been or what she had done.

She assured herself that perhaps in time she would meet with Erik again.

He could not stay away from her forever, despite his misgivings, their hearts were one.

So until then, she would use her heart and the voice he had created to remember him. And seek the love he gave her elsewhere.


End file.
